Did I mention

how in love I am?

Seriously, I can't even believe how much I love my baby girls. I can't get enough of them. I love holding them, and hugging them, and kissing them.

I kiss them constantly. Seriously, if I am holding them, I am kissin' and lovin' on them. I am so enamored with them.
Who knew I could love two people this much? I feel like this whole other part of my heart and soul has been opened up and I've finally found myself. I've finally let myself open up and love as much as I possibly can. In a way I feel so free. Nothing else matters. My world is Olivia Mae and Sarah Rose.

I feel like I am just getting a tiny glimpse of how much our Lord loves us. And for the love I have for my babes to be only a fraction of how God loves us--I can't even fathom that love. It has really brought my relationship with the Lord to new level. It's like, "Oh! This is how you feel, times ten thousand!" I'm so thankful, and my heart has opened up so much. It's just unreal.


Earlier today, I was thinking about my previous foster daughters Mercedes and Mariah. We really wanted to adopt them and I was absolutely in love with them, especially Mariah because she was only 1 years old when we got her and we had them for a year. When they moved our hearts were broken. It was the hardest thing we'd ever experienced I think. I was thinking about the love I feel/felt for them compared to the love I feel for my own biological daughters. I can't say it was exactly the same, just because I didn't give birth to them and there is a connection that comes with that experience that can't be matched. However, the degree to which I was in love with those girls is very comparable to how I feel for my own daughters. It's really hard to put into words, but I know the way I felt for them was very similar to the way I feel for my own girls. I still miss them so much, and if we had the opportunity I would still want to adopt them even though it's been 7 months since they've moved. For a short time I felt like I had my own daughters and I treated them as if they were my biological children.
I suppose it just wasn't in the cards for us to adopt them, which is OK. I am thankful to have had the opportunity to experience that love. I am also thankful that I was able to concentrate on having my own daughters in the midst of losing Mercedes and Mariah. They are doing well, and they are with good people thankfully.

Anyways, all that to say that God is so so good. This love is amazing, and I am SO SO SO thankful for my baby girls.
Praise God!